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Tuesday, August 20, 2013

I'm So Angry!

I am one of those people who get all kinds of great ideas while in the bathroom. I believe that there is some kind of special magic within those walls, with their pipes and water, that stimulates the brain. My proof that this is true? As soon as you exit this regal room of thought, all of the great ideas fade away. So, there you go. Today my brain went on a tangent while I was in the shower. To be completely honest, I had some thoughts going before I went in, and they just took on a life of their own when surrounded by all of that water. I suppose it didn't help that I was less than eager for what my afternoon would hold. Getting in a car without air conditioning in 95 degree weather (about 34C) for a drive of an hour in each direction for an appointment in which Trent would be told, "Okay, you're fine, see ya," isn't so bad, right? It's not like it's a car with no air conditioning, bad brakes, and nearly bald tires. Oh, wait, I just described our car. But life happens, and we muddle along.

I wasn't angry about the trip, just not eager to have a sweaty ride. (Thanks to the bottle of brake fluid we purchased the other day, the brakes weren't completely awful.) What was making me angry was my experiences with my doctor's office. I recently ordered some refills of prescriptions by mail for Trent, and one of them, surprisingly, fell through the cracks and wasn't approved for renewal by his doctors. I knew that when he mentioned it today, everything would be taken care of, so no worries. But that made me think about my doctor's office, and specifically about the nurse who handles renewal requests. See, I happen to be taking the exact same medication. I have tried to order it online two or three times, and the online pharmacy notifies my doctor's office asking for a renewal. Of course, the doctor has the opportunity to say either yes or no. But in my case, there has been no response to the request whatsoever. Nada. I don't mean they said no, I mean that the nurse simply ignores the requests. Hey, it's not like the medicine is important or anything. (That, my dears, is what we call sarcasm.)

I find this very upsetting. I'd be okay with them saying that I can't have the refill, but to be completely ignored tells me I am not worth even a moment of their time. I'd rather have them say "shove off, no refills" than say nothing at all. I could get online and contact the doctor's office asking them for a prescription. But I know what could happen as a result of this request. One possible outcome is the nurse finally taking a moment to call me and tell me it's impossible for them to refill my prescription without having blood tests. I fear that I might respond by saying that the tests will be a waste of time. Because the refill requests have been ignored, I haven't taken the medicine in three months. When the results come in, the docs will tell me that I should be taking the medicine so that my results can be better. Oh, really? Shocking!

Scenario number two involves the nurse seeing the request for medicine A, which will cost me a whopping five dollars, and ordering the new-and-improved medicine B (one hundred and seventy-five dollars), along with a supply of insulin pens (another one hundred seventy-five). I will find out about this when I get a message to call the online pharmacy regarding my recent order. That's code for there's no way they will send it out because of the cost, and I have to pay for it before it can be shipped. This will result in me looking it up on their website to confirm my suspicions, and then placing the call. I will be told in a condescending tone that the meds were ordered by the doctor, so they have to fill them. This will, some day, result in my crazy lady switch being turned into the ON position. It may also result in me saying something foul, like yes, I understand, because I already looked it up on the website and I know what was ordered and by whom, and how much it will cost. Can they understand that if I buy these expensive meds we won't be able to afford food for six weeks? Now will they cancel the order, please?

Then my mind really began to wallow in the anger like a pig wallowing in mud. I began thinking about how we paid more than seven months worth of insurance to get to the point where the deductible was reached and the insurance company will finally pick up part of the tab. For example, the pills that cost $175 would have cost $400 a month ago. I am sure that most people who work for insurance and pharmaceutical companies are wonderful human beings. But I am in no way convinced that these companies really exist for humanitarian purposes. It's all about the money. And if you don't have the money to be well, to paraphrase the words of Ebenezer Scrooge, prior to his change of heart, does that mean you just need to die and decrease the surplus population?

It's been a long time since I got this negatively worked-up about something. I already feel ashamed of myself for ranting and raving about it. I do feel a lot better having gotten it off my chest, though. And I apologize if my blathering upset or offended you. Feel free to let me know. This is just a slightly sour slice out of my day. And I usually am not like this. I'll be better tomorrow. Like Scarlett O'Hara said, tomorrow is another day!