Some People Have Been Everywhere

Once again I am going to be talking about my Gram, who raised me. She was, and still is, a big part of my life, so things that happen from time to time will bring up fond memories of Gram.

Gram seemed to have an expression or saying for just about every situation. I tend to think that this is a verbal art form that may be dying out. Sometimes when I use old sayings, whether they came from Gram or not, I find that people just get confused by them. Case in point, my husband Trent. He just can't seem to make sense of an oldie and a goodie, "six of one, and half-a-dozen of the other." "But they are the same thing!" he exclaims. "Exactly!" I reply. After more than twelve years of marriage, he still doesn't understand it. So I just say "six of one and WD-40 of the other." It makes no sense, but it works for whenever I use it.


My Gram was a short little woman who claimed to be five feet tall but was more like four feet eleven inches. She told me that saying she was five feet tall just sounded so much bigger. She had a sweet face and white hair and just looked like a sweet little granny. And she loved to take advantage of that. She lived for the moments when a grocery store clerk would ask her how she was doing. She'd reply, "Oh, mean as ever!" Many a clerk gave a startled look when she said that with such a sweet smile on her face!


Her mother died before she was two, and she was raised by a single father with lots of brothers who liked to have a drink or two and lovingly call each other every name in the book. Therefore, some of her phrases would be just a little bit too sassy to put in my blog, although she did clean some of them up just a bit. When I found myself saying that I was wishing for something, she'd say, "Well, you know what my dad used to tell me. Put your wish in one hand, and spit in the other, and see which one gets full first." Then she would tell me the real version of the saying, and get a giggle out of being naughty.


Another one she really liked was when it was her birthday, and people would ask how old she was. She would tell them very proudly, to which they'd reply with an "oh, my goodness," or ask her how she felt about hitting that age. "Well, it's better than the alternative," she'd say. What a pistol! I remember when she came up with a new one for that subject. She'd say that the only problem with getting older was AGE...Arthritis, Glaucoma, and Everything else!


So what made me think about Gram and her sayings today? Well, let me tell you, it is really hot here in the Denver metropolitan area today. The official high temperature, a record breaker, is 100 degrees Fahrenheit, or 37.78 degrees Celsius for my Hungarian readers. This is the kind of day that can make you believe in that legendary home of the devil. On a day just like this, many years ago, I came in the house and said, "Oh, Gram! It's hotter than West Hades out there!" Her reply? "Some people have been everywhere." And just like then, what kind of comeback can I make to that?