Grieving

I want to apologize to my readers. I know that I have not been writing regularly these last few weeks. We have been dealt some blows and the stress I have been under has made it difficult for me to focus on writing, whether serious or funny.

This Monday, August 27, 2012, Trent and I were dealt the cruelest blow of all. After twelve and a half years, we had to have our precious dog Paris put down. I don't want to go into details; it is just too hard to go through it again. But it is so hard to make the decision to end the pain of your best friend, a sweet creature who is more or less your child. We could not bear to have her suffer. Her pain is over, and ours has begun. It is amazing that the absence of such a small creature can leave such a large wound in your heart. 

When I am in the kitchen, I no longer have my sous chef watching carefully, hoping to be asked to taste whatever is being made. If I am washing dishes by hand, she is not sitting there hoping that I will go to the refrigerator and get out a can of dog food and fix her a dish. And when we come home from going somewhere, she is not there to greet us with boundless joy. 

Some people may not understand the mourning we are going through. But those of you who have bonded with and truly loved a dog will know. We have lost a best friend who loves us unconditionally, our child, our devoted companion, a member of our family. Time will help lessen the pain, but right now the wounds are very raw. So please bear with me, dear friends. I am still here but just not quite myself. Or perhaps quite myself? Those who really know me know that under this lunatic veneer there is still a soft heart. I just need to let it go through its grieving process.