The Lady is a Misogynist?

In retrospect, perhaps I should have shared online the article I've been mulling over for several days now. But then again, my strong opinions are what gave birth to this blog in the first place. Or at least its title. Seriously! A number of years ago, Trent and I were in the car and another driver did something terribly aggravating (which I can no longer remember) that irked us both. I've always taken my front-seat passenger duties very seriously, so I gave the other driver a talking-to that they, of course, didn't hear. I mean, everyone makes mistakes, let's not turn it into a road rage incident that gets on the evening news. But a little this-outburst-stays-in-the-car moment can sometimes cool down that adrenalin burn you get from a near miss. After the outburst was delivered, I told Trent that some day, if I ever started to write a blog I would call it (the) Ravings of a Lunatic. So there you go.

I'll freely admit that when I peruse the online news I don't just focus on what you might call serious news or hard news or please could I read something else because this is depressing news. I'll say, "How does this qualify as news?" even as I click on the stories about friendly dogs and the UPS drivers or US Postal Workers they love. And all kinds of other stuff, honestly, because news reading can be depressing, aggravating, worrying, and a slew of other adjectives which I shan't use now because it would seem like Showing Off.

Now, back to the article I mentioned at the beginning. I'm not quite sure where the story originated, but I suspect that it was lifted from the AITA (Am I The A-hole) forum. For those who may be unfamiliar, this is a virtual place where people seek confirmation on whether or not they were the jerk in a situation that they will describe and opine upon. Readers then have the opportunity to share their thoughts on whether the OP (Original Poster) qualifies as NTA (NOT the A-hole), YTA (You're The A-hole), or something like NWH (Nobody Wins Here). 

You will soon be fully aware that I am iffy on several of the fine details, because my little brain became hyper-focused on one particular facet of the story. The OP wanted to know, AITA? She is engaged to be married soon, and is observing and enjoying many of the rites of passage that are attached to this momentous occasion. The facts, as I recall them, are like this: the bride-to-be is going to have a bachelorette party with her bridesmaids. Bachelor and bachelorette parties have been happening for years, a last hurrah to one's life as a singleton. Depending on those involved, they may run the gamut from fairly quiet local soirees to trips to Las Vegas or other destinations full of temptations of debauchery. The point of these gatherings is generally for the couple to have a last chance at fun with friends before becoming part of a committed pair. Simple, yes?

Not so in this case. FH (Future Husband) wants to be in attendance at the bachelor party, to which the OP said no. She may have also stated that she has no desire to attend the bachelor party, I can't recall. We all know that a lot of the traditions around weddings have changed, such as couples coming to bridal showers and such, but the OP wanted a traditional bachelorette party, a chance to have fun with the women who have been her friends for years, maybe even longer than she has known her FH. Well, this didn't go over very well. At this point, while reading the article, I am having thoughts that maybe FH has control issues, or is insanely jealous, or perhaps doesn't trust the OP, maybe judging her by his own bachelor party behavior? I am also thinking, "Run, girl, while you still can. You don't need an obsessive, controlling person trying to run the rest of your life!"

When OP told FH that he was not invited to her bachelorette party, and stated all of the obvious reasons, he developed a fixative problem. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he came unglued. and argued at length that she should allow him, and any other interested significant others, to attend. She stuck to her opinion, which resulted in him saying that by only allowing her female friends to attend the party, she was being a misogynist. At this point, because I know what the word misogynist means, I am eager to read the answers/opinions in response to this OP. Also, I've decided that not only is she NTA, but that he is a JACK-A. He has responded to his future wife's desire for a females-only party by calling her a misogynist, a person who hates or despises females, someone who is anti-woman. 

I eagerly searched the responses for someone who would tell the OP that she should run like she's on fire to get away from Jack (-A), as I now think of him. I am excited to see someone tell OP that she needs to school her not so bright, potentially controlling or abusive FH that she is not by any means a woman-hater, but could possibly be developing a case of misandry from prolonged exposure to this man. Of course, I exaggerate, but I think you get the picture. The Lunatic thinks that when he pointed a finger and said misogyny, he forgot about all of the fingers that were pointing back at him, to borrow from an old saying.

And then my disappointment grew. In fact, it branched out and bloomed. Yes, the overwhelming consensus was that the OP was NTA. There were comments about FH being a person with low self esteem, being a controller, being a potential abuser. Heck, there were even comments that said that her decision didn't make her a misogynist. But the moment of reason I longed for never appeared. Not a single comment in the article mentioned that she wasn't a misogynist because she didn't disrespect herself or other women. Maybe they read the word and confused it with misanthropy? Or maybe everyone is TA? Or maybe it's just me. Oh, no, AITA? I just may be. Sigh.

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