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Friday, July 20, 2012

A Cosmic Shift

If any of you felt the earth tip on its axis this afternoon, it is my fault. I apologize for any stress that this cosmic shift may have caused you. But I've gone and done it. What caused this wrinkle in the universe, you ask? I can encapsulate it in five words: I am now wearing bifocals.

Yes, after fighting this forever, I have finally caved in. I would say that I started to need the magic glasses at about thirty years of age. And no, you can't get me to say how many years I have delayed this decision. I know you will use the information to compute diabolical mathematical formulas that result in you knowing my age. I am not ashamed of my age, and don't feel a need to be mysterious about it. I just don't think it has any bearing on my blog. I would hate to have any readers thinking, "Wow, I thought for sure she was younger, like my age maybe." Or, "Wow, I would have thought that someone so wise would have been far older." Hence the age mystery. Enjoy the content without focusing on silly stuff like birth dates, is my way of thinking.

As I said, I have really resisted this. Not because it made me feel old. I think I was afraid of being able to function with them. I had heard so many horror stories of people falling down or sicking up or having terminal headaches. So I kept getting regular glasses. I bet I looked really super-cool looking over the tops of my specs, holding my phone up to my nose in order to read and send texts. I found myself increasingly taking my glasses off to see my tablet, and all the while I was looking like it was a book in Braille and I was trying to read it with the tip of my nose. I didn't need any stinking bifocals!

Now the really scary part. I kinda like them. I can see the t.v. and glance down and read something off my tablet or cellphone. I can simply keep my super-chic updated nerd glasses firmly planted on my nose. I shall wear them with my head held high until I take them off at night and put them in their lovely leather case. In the morning, I will put them on and be able to read and watch the telly and appreciate the lovely flowers and trees. I might have to start blogging twice a day! .Okay, reality check! No, I haven't fallen into a chocolate-coated ice-cream filled, no-calorie world. I couldn't possibly. Because now I can see where it is!