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Friday, July 13, 2012

Watch Out, His Lips Are Moving

I had the pleasure of spending some time with my friend Marie today. Not only did she spend nearly two hours with me at the Department of Motor Vehicles so that I could get my Identification card renewed, she also took me out to lunch. All in all, it was a very good Friday the thirteenth birthday for me. I told her that since I had written about her more than once, perhaps it was time for me to write about her husband, Thayne. Thayne is a good guy. He's a big tall teddy bear who works in the computer industry. Yes, Marie's husband is a nerd. He is also a very generous person - it was because of Thayne and Marie's willingness to share their frequent flier miles that I was able to go to Hungary to find my family. He can also be very funny. 

Marie, Thayne, Trent, and I like to get together and sit around the table after one of Marie's delicious meals and talk and tell stories. Thayne has the gift of being able to say the most incredible or outrageous or even simple things with a straight face, and all the time he is leading you down the garden path, as they used to say in the old days. He could have easily become an actor or attorney or (gasp!) a politician with this ability, but he is more of a teaser than a Great Prevaricator (big old liar - I could have said big old liar but prevaricator is such a delicious word!). Luckily for me, I also have the same ability and can usually recognize when he is dishing out something that smells a bit funny. I try to use my powers for good and rescue people from his story's grasp, but I must admit that it is sometimes fun to watch people be so willingly led astray.

Trent was going to Disney World with Thayne and Marie and was very excited for the trip. Trent loves Disney. What else do I need to say? He jumped at the chance to go. One evening before the trip, we were sitting around having one of our post-dinner chats. Thayne had a frown on his face. "Trent, buddy, I've been waiting for the right moment to tell you something, so I might as well tell you now. I got a call from the airline today. The Department of Homeland Security has put Florida on a heightened alert because of something that happened down there. So we may not be able to go. Or we might miss the first days of the trip." The room became still. Trent was thinking of something to say. I didn't need to think, though. "Honey, look at him! Don't believe what he is saying! His lips are moving!" Thayne got a really hearty laugh out of both the look on my husband's face, and the fact that I busted him.

Thayne has a "true story" about something that happened when he was growing up. If I know someone is around that has never heard it, I will practically beg him to tell them. Since he is a good friend, he will often indulge my request. The refrigerator in the house where Thayne grew up had the freezer in the bottom, one of the pullout drawer freezers. One day, his mother pulled out the drawer to get something out to make for dinner. After everyone had eaten, she decided to put the leftovers in the freezer for another day. That is when she found the cat. Apparently curiosity tried to kill this cat, because he had somehow gotten shut in the freezer drawer. It looked like the cat was a goner. He was cold and not moving. But Thayne's dad knew he had to do whatever he could for the poor beast, so he called the local veterinarian for advice. The vet told him that there was a trick that just might work to save the cat. A teaspoon of gasoline in his mouth could possibly make him recover. So his dad followed the vet's advice, and it was like a miracle. Within seconds, the cat was not only recovered, but running around like a madman. He was dashing through the house and leaping all over the furniture! He started to climb up the living room drapes, and suddenly fell down dead. The poor cat had run out of gas...

You can't imagine how many people have been roped in by that story. It is told with such an honest, innocent face. Yes Thayne, you are The Master. But I know your ways. I always watch out when your lips are moving!